So to speak…

My favorite celebutante, uber obsession, and all around object of derision… Paris Hilton visited South Africa recently with her Good Charlotte boyfriend, Benji Madden; who apparently was there for the “My Coke Fest” rock festival along with the likes of the Kaiser Chiefs and Korn.

Although for the life of me I can’t understand why. I mean… Can you consider the crap that Good Charlotte creates music???

Anyway… Word is they stayed at the posh Mount Nelson Hotel in Cape Town, and I’m thinkin’ Paris really liked what she saw because apparently, in true Hilton fashion she wanted to buy… Everything! Absolutely nothing was safe from the Hilton pocketbook… From the hotel furnishings, to the locals attire, to the wildlife!

A hotel employee is quoted as saying “Every time Paris saw something she liked, like a woman’s dress, she would ask how much it was.” That included a cheetah she saw at an animal park. She asked how much it was and said, “If I bought a cheetah, would it run away from me or could I keep it?”

Because that’s what Paris needs… A Cheetah. Dude… I’m sure that her car insurance payment is enough to feed a third world country. I can’t even imagine what cheetah insurance would cost. Not that it would matter though, if you can afford to buy South Africa… Insurance premiums are probably not your biggest concern.

I still love you though Paris. If you’re still looking to buy a cat… You could always buy me a jaguar.

I’m just sayin’…