The Top 11 Things White People Fear From an Obama Presidency.
On the eve of the second Super Tuesday, Barack Obama is poised to wrap up the Democratic nomination, after 11 straight victories last month, most of them by wide margins Obama has Hillary Clinton on the ropes. Unless she wins… And wins big in both Ohio and Texas she has no hope of catching up!
I have already given my support to the only candidate that really matters, and yet I can’t help but cheer Obama on in his march towards the White House. So far this has been hands down the most exciting presidential election I have ever seen… If for no other reason than it scares the hell out of white middle class America.
In kitchens, dens and basements all over America right now white suburbanites are discussing change… Real change. It inspires some, enrages others and frightens most. Granted they won’t talk about these fears in public, certainly they won’t address them in mixed company… Nonetheless all over the country white America is afraid.
So I have compiled a list of the top 11 things white people fear will happen if Barack Obama becomes president! And yes… It is a list of eleven. Any dumb ass with a blog can give you a list of ten… It takes a real genius to bring you eleven!
1. Airforce One will be decked out with spinner rims, hydraulics and custom Kenwood speakers for that bumpin’ bass!
2. The Secret Service detail assigned to protect the President will be made up of OG gang members and will be required to have the words “Thug Life” tattooed across their abdomen.
3. The word ask will be officially and irrevocably changed to axe.
4. The Surgeon General (Dr. Dre’) will release irrefutable medical proof verifying that black men do indeed have bigger dicks. (If my friend Chang is reading this… What are you laughing at dude? You’re Asian…)
5. All cabinet members will be required to wear a Flava Flav clock and a grille during any official government functions.
6. Kanye West will be appointed the Secretary of State, and he’ll announce “Barack Obama doesn’t like white people!” at his first press conference.
7. All movie-goers will be required by law to warn the actors and actresses on screen of their impending demise from the killer hiding behind the closet door, shower curtain or in the back seat.
8. Hockey will be officially outlawed. A heated debate will ensue over the fate of golf, but in what amounts to a last minute nod of respect to Tiger Woods… Golf is saved.
9. Maury Povich will be appointed Secretary of Child Support Services and all paternity suits will have to be settled live on his show.
10. During his inauguration speech Barack Obama will ask the American people… “Does Barack Obama have to choke a bitch?!?”
11. The United States will no longer recognize EST, CST, MST, and PST, rather it will operate solely under CPT (Colored People Time)
The bottom line is this, and I’m speaking primarily to my fellow Americans in Texas and Ohio… In the words of Franklin D. Roosevelt, “The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” So Barack Obama… and I, am asking you to believe! The right choice is Obama! I mean c’mon… Everyone knows it’s bro’s before ho’s!
I’m just sayin’…
Good list. Nothing about fried chicken and watermelon? I guess that’s all passe.
HM… Yeah. Fried Chicken and watermelon is too predictable.
Deja vuuuuuuuuuu….
Mike… Yeah I know. Sorry. I explained it here
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[...] As we all know… I have already given my support to the only candidate that really matters, and yet I can’t help but cheer Barack Obama on in his march towards the White House. If for no other reason than it scares the hell out of white middle class America… [...]
This was dumb.
Guess its easier to vote two terms for a man who could care less about the White Middle Class
It’s just the racism effecting your thinking. Just like all White people don ‘t go on Jerry Springer or live in Trailer Parks it would be easier to think such foolishness as you have listed. Get enlightened its not 1908, its 2008. Apparently the best person to be president is not always Caucasian.
Ummmm Sal… Buddy. It’s called satire. You may want to look that up, because it’s really an integral part of the piece. See… I am actually an Obama supporter…
I know… I know… It’s complicated. I’m sorry if I confused you, although in my own defense it seems that it’s probably quite easy to do.
Oh and by the way… Racism may affect my thinking, but it certainly doesn’t effect my thinking… that makes no sense.
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