I wanna be made!
I have to admit I’m completely addicted to MTV’s “Made”… There is something so satisfying about watching doughy, pasty faced teenagers learn valuable life lessons from coaches who have… At best achieved mediocre success in whatever field they want to be “Made” into… Whining incessantly the whole time about how hard it is.
The formula goes a little something like this… Fat, loser, outcast wants to be made into something cool, whether it be Prom Queen or King, Cheerleader or Athlete Musician, Dancer or Actor it doesn’t really matter… And quite frankly half the time I don’t even think the kid cares what it is. Basically he or she just wants to shed their fat, loser, outcast persona and magically… Overnight acquire popularity and friends…
Enter the “Made” coach. Usually a person who has achieved a slight modicum of success in whatever field the fat, loser, outcast aspires to. It is generally a person who has reached for the stars and fallen somewhat short, or a person who has reached the top of a field that the rest of the world doesn’t really give a shit about… Think pageant queens, semi-pro athletes, community theatre actors and dance studio instructors. This… This is the person that is going to mold the fat, loser, outcast in their image.
Along the way the fat, loser, outcast hits the gym with several obligatory shots of him or her struggling on the stair stepper or elliptical, loses some weight, cries alot, whines even more and usually achieves a half assed, mediocre, nice try version of his or her goal.
The great thing about this show is that it condenses 6-8 weeks of half-assed work into 60 minutes and makes even the stupidest of goals seem not only possible… But easy. Thanks to “Made” fat, loser, outcasts everywhere think they can shed 100 pounds and become world class athletes over a weekend. They think that they can suddenly acquire talent, co-ordination, and skill simply by wanting it. They think that ability is a choice, and let’s be honest… That’s just good old fashioned entertainment for the rest of us!
The only thing that would make it better would be if the fat, loser outcasts had better goals like… “I wanna be a fry cook!” or “I wanna be a crack dealer!” or “I wanna be a stripper!” or how about “I wanna be a suicide bomber!”…
Maybe someday someone will wanna be a blogger… And when they do, I wanna be their “Made” coach.
What? You’ve read my blog, you’re well aware of my half-assed qualifications.
I’m just sayin’…
I bet some of those kids would want to be bloggers if they knew how much ass we get on the job.
HM… Yeah they would! Because that’s the best part of being… WAIT A MINUTE!!!
YOU’RE GETTING LAID?
Well what the fuck am I doing wrong?
That show is everything that’s wrong with society.
Also, what Hungry isn’t telling you is it’s with his hand
Mike… “That show is everything that’s wrong with society.”
Exactly!
In other words it is awesomely fantastic entertainment. I’m sorry I just can’t pass up the opportunity to ridicule and demean those who try to change themselves for the better and, or achieve their dreams. Not only does it reinforce my own paralyzing fear to try and fail at anything new or fulfilling… To be completely honest it’s just fucking hilarious!
I can’t help it… My middle name is schadenfreude.
Maybe that’s why even my hand refuses to have sex with me. I try to masturbate and my hand cramps up and starts to complain of a headache. I think it’s cheating on me too…
Sometimes I wake up and I swear there is dried up spooge on my hand, and I know for damn sure it didn’t come from me. I think my hand is giving random handjobs while I sleep…
I’m not surprised by it, I am kind of hurt that my feet didn’t tell me though. I mean they must have known… They are the ones taking my hand out til all hours of the night while I sleep. I really trusted my feet too… It’s a shame.
Have you any idea of what a shit you sound.
Loki… You are a GENIUS! I mean it, you are soooooo right. I have just had an epiphany. I am going to change my life for the better.
From now on I’ll be courteous, helpful and sweet! I’ll write about self help techniques and Eastern philosophies. I’ll donate money and time to charities and always be kind to my fellow man.
And no one will ever read a single word of it. Because no one cares.
Meh… Fuck it! I’m gonna write a post about “Takin’ retards to the zoo.” (Dedicated to you of course) and go on hating the world and everyone in it!
Humanity is too hard…
i think your biggest goal on what they can or cant make you into is for them not to make you into something other than a douchebag…
xoxo
[...] only thing on television more addictive than “Made” has got to be “Intervention” (No pun intended)… Absolutely nothing makes you feel [...]