11 Reasons Paris Hilton is smarter than you!
Aug 12th, 2008 | By Just Sayin... | Category: The Most Popular Insights | Visited 2212 times, 4 so far today
Love her or hate her… You have to admit Paris Hilton has become quite the pop culture icon.
According to her detractors Paris is a wealthy party girl who likes to pose for photos and dance on tables… A vapid, self involved, celebutante, whore who lives off of her parents money and has become famous for… Well for being famous!
In other words… To them she represents the cheerleader, or the popular girl they wished they were, who was worshiped by all, and who taunted and ridiculed them in high school, re-inforcing their insecurities and making them feel fat and un-loved…
According to me Paris is a wealthy party girl who likes to pose for photos and dance on tables… An intelligent, driven, marketing genius who makes a ton of money promoting her brand and becoming famous for… Well for being famous!
In other words… She represents the success and quality of life I not only aspire to, but which I am actively working towards. If I could promote this blog half as well as she promotes her brand I could quit my day job…
I’m not kidding either… When it comes to marketing and promotion I have two role models, two muses from whence I draw my inspiration… Paris Hilton and V from Violent Acres (Who would kick me in the nuts for even mentioning her name in the same breath as Paris.), both prove that sometimes it’s better to be hated than loved…
But I’m not here to defend her character… Either way… Shallow bitch or driven business woman, no matter what you think of her personality I think it’s time everyone stopped questioning her intelligence.
Paris Hilton is definitely no dummy… In fact I think she’s smarter than you! And I’ll give you my reasons why. In fact I’ll give you 11 reasons why. After all any dumb blond with a blog can bring you a list of ten, it takes a true marketing genius to bring you eleven.
So now without further delay… The 11 Reasons Paris Hilton is smarter than you!:
1) Paris Hilton is famous… For being famous…
Ironically the thing that most of Paris Hilton’s detractors hate her for, is actually what I admire most. I mean, Paris Hilton has no traditional talent. I’ll give you that… But so what! That means, everything that she has ever done… Acting, singing, modeling, all are derived from her fame, not because of it!
Which brings us to her true talent… Shameless self-promotion, and Paris has honed this skill into an art form!
What are you famous for?
2) Her resume is seriously impressive…
Because of her knack for self-promotion Paris Hilton has managed to accrue one hell of a resume. Still in her 20’s, she has launched a fashion and fragrance
In my 20’s I was still trying to figure out what I wanted to be when I grow up… If nothing else you have to respect her drive.
What does your resume look like?
3) The more you hate her… The stronger her brand becomes…
Love her or hate her you are buying the product and strengthening the brand. That’s the beauty of it… The sheer brilliance of it! Her product is not acting or singing, it’s promotion… So it really doesn’t fucking matter whether you like her or not, as long as you keep talking about her.
She promotes people, she promotes places, she promotes things. The actual item doesn’t really matter as long as she attaches her name and her image to the things she promotes by being the bad girl, attracting attention, and by just plain being herself. The more publicity she gets… The more publicity the things she promotes get… The more valuable her brand becomes!
photo credit: ricardoalvarez
4) John McCain recognizes the strength of her brand…
Clips of Paris Hilton and Britney Spears appear in John McCain’s latest campaign commercial.
Someone in that wrinkly white haired dude’s camp recognizes, as previously stated… The more media attention Paris Hilton gets, the more people recognize her, the more people recognize her, the more they want to know more about her. The more people want to know about her, the more media attention she gets… ad infintum… And they are seriously trying to capitalize on that!
When was the last time you were referenced by a Presidential candidate?
5) Paris is like… Totally ready to lead…
In response to John McCain’s ad Paris released her own spot announcing her presidential candidacy and poking fun at campaign commercials, herself and most importantly that wrinkly white haired dude.
The thing is, not only did she manage to humiliate McCain while looking totally hot… She actually has a pretty good plan to solve the energy crisis!
Have you ever created a viral video publicly humiliating a Presidential candidate that generated over 6.2 million hits? Hmmmm… I didn’t think so.
6) Who else can become famous for having sex with their boyfriend…
The truth is Paris Hilton takes a lot of heat for her sex tape ‘1 Night In Paris’ depicting Paris and her then-boyfriend Rick Salomon engaging in the nasty, but the fact of the matter is… That video made her a star.
Released shortly before ‘The Simple Life’ debuted, it caused a media sensation instantly making Paris Hilton a household name and ‘The Simple Life’ a huge hit. Not only that… It also received the AVN Awards in 2005 for “Best Selling Title of the Year,” “Best Renting Title of the Year” and “Best Overall Marketing Campaign – Individual Project.”
Because of this Paris has been referred to as a slut, a whore and a skank… For what? For having sex with her boyfriend? Look… You probably had sex with your boyfriend last night… Does it make you a slut? More importantly… Did it make you a star?
7) She is paid to have a good time…
Seriously! Paris is paid (Really, really well) for guest appearances at night clubs and public events. Things that you and I would pay to attend… Paris is being paid to attend.
Look at it this way… Paris Hilton was reportedly given $200,000 to celebrate her 24th birthday party at ‘Pure’ in Las Vegas. Not only that… She was provided a free private jet, a free luxury suite, free dinner and free booze on top of the 200K!
What did you do for your last birthday? Yeah… That’s what I thought.
8 ) Speaking of getting paid… Paris Hilton was paid $1 million to fly to Austria, wave at a crowd and tell them she loves Austria…
When asked later “But why do you love Austria?” she smiled and replied “Because they pay me $1 million to wave at a crowd,”… If that’s not fucking brilliant… I don’t know what is! Let me ask you this…
Have you ever been paid $1 million to go anywhere? Or say anything?
9) Hayden Panettiere thinks she’s a marketing genius…
The ‘Heroes’ star had this to say about Paris Hilton, “She’s a nice girl and a lot brighter than people give her credit (for) but no one sees her like that because she plays this character all the time. She’s actually a marketing genius.”
If Hayden Panettiere says it’s true… It must be! Hell… I’m gonna be honest here… If the cheerleader told me the world was flat I’d believe it!
What was the last thing Hayden Panettiere said about you?
10) She was named Harvard’s Woman of the Year…
I’m not joking… Paris Hilton was selected as Ivy League Harvard University’s, Harvard Lampoon Magazine’s, Woman of the Year 2008.
When was the last time you were honored by an Ivy League University?
11) That’s hot!
Paris has become synonymous with her catch phrase “That’s hot.” Forever entwining those two words with her image in the pop culture lexicon… Moreover… She actually owns the trademark “That’s hot,” which was registered on Feb. 13, 2007.
When was the last time you coined a phrase that became a cultural phenomenon?
There you have it haters… 11 Reasons Paris Hilton is smarter than you. Loves it!
Now be honest…
If you really think about it you’ll see, Paris Hilton is not only richer than you… Not only is she prettier than you… Not only is she better than you…But deep down inside, underneath all that jealousy you know… She’s smarter than you! Accept it bitches!
She’s hot… And you’re not!
Oh and Paris… If you’re reading this. Have your people call my people, I have a few marketing and promotions projects I’d like to discuss with you. Love you silly…
I’m just sayin’…
This is why I still read you. That and you just spammed me on StumbleUpon.
Now go read my blog. I’ve written FOUR excellent articles about EntreCard that will help you become a better blogger.
You have just been spammed.
Richard… Richard… Richard… I didn’t spam you. I merely suggested a piece that I thought might appeal to you. There is a difference… I’m not really sure what that difference is, but rest assured there is one.
Feel free to “suggest” pieces you think I might like any time! It’s what Paris would do… And she’s smarter than both of us, so who am I to argue?
Very thorough post about a very shallow person. She should pay you for this.
Oh c’mon Veronica… She’s not that shallow. Didn’t you read the piece?
OMG! A Paris hater!
How can anyone… Anyone? Hate Paris after reading that piece?
I have failed… I thought I was very persuasive. Apparently not enough. I guess I’m just not as good a marketer as Paris…
*sigh*
Failure is not an option.
You’re right… Of course you’re right! I must persevere! The cult of personality must advance! Today… My blog!
Tomorrow… THE WORLD!
If Hayden Panettiere says it’s true… It must be! Hell… I’m gonna be honest here… If the cheerleader told me the world was flat I’d believe it!
LOL
I’m serious Ayamikhan! Although… I do have to admit, ever since the restraining order was filed I feel that we’re drifting apart…
Lousy body guards… Who the hell do they think they are anyway?
Oh I hate when that happens. That happened to me too about 18 months ago and I was told not to come within 100 metres of the love of my life, and I had to spend a whole THOUSAND dollars on a bigger zoom lens.
But you know I think it was worth it, because every now and again she’ll turn in my direction and smile, and I know it’s because she still believes in us!
Wow! It’s like we are on the same wavelength Richard!
If you get arrested, I’ll be totally there for you!
Same for you… Don’t worry…I’ve got bail money!
You know this is the first time I feel understood and, uh, really loved.
I think we need to embrace our community and start our own 12 step fellowship - Stalkers Anonymous, or maybe give ourselves a less socially stigmatised name and call ourselves “We love too much” Anonymous? Maybe you have an even better name in mind?
I’m pumped here.
Richard please… Try to be a little more politically correct. We aren’t stalkers… We suffer from IAD!
Irrational Attachment Disorder
IADA
If you go as far as registering a domain and setting up a site, I’ll contribute banner/header/logo.
@Bill: Ya know, I’m not sure I’m ready to accept that my attachment is irrational. I know, I know, denial is not just a river in Egypt.
@Aya: So do you have your own “stalking” story to tell? Or are you just here for the view and the refreshments?
Richard, two ex lovers, one of whom thinks I’m the gods of war and death and will probably never speak to me again. Poor girl, we were perfect together. I send them both Facebook invitations about once every three months and otherwise leave them be these days.
I’m slightly partial to Demi Moore and a few other actresses as well, but, on the wrong continent so can’t consider that stalking, although I used to log into to manga BBS’s pretending to be Jamie Lee Curtis under the initials JLC.
I’m satisfied with those credentials. How do you feel, Bill?
There are a few more politically correct terms for stalking, but they only apply if you get paid for it.
Federal agent, and Paparazzi.
Those credentials sound pretty good to me…
I especially like the Jamie Lee Curtis impersonation… That was a nice touch!
Hell… I think I may have had an irrational attachment to you back in the day Ayamikhan… Thinking you were JLC of course! You… She… One of you have a really nice rack!
I’m confused now… I need to take my pills before the voices come again…
haha!
back in about 1985 i saw Jamie Lee Curtis in some dance movie, but to be honest her short do never really did it for me. the girl sitting next to me in the theatre did, however. long and hard. something like that.
anyway, about the time she became a mom and started talking publicly about baby poop, i developed a case of sudden total lack of interest.
But that’s just me. Always been a bit strange.
I dunno… Sometimes short hair does it for me, and I think Jamie Lee pulls it off well.
Do you think she pulled it off, huh? I figured she used a razor.
LOL! No actually didn’t Michael Myers use a butcher knife?
Did you just invoke Austin Powers!?
That’s Fabulous, Baby!
LMAO… The other Mike Myers! You know… The one that ran around in the Shatner mask offing people on Halloween?
Not the one running around telling people he wants to shag them on Halloween.
Although either prospect is equally horrifying…
It’s the same guy.
I love how his friend drags a piano around after him, playing that creepy music to let people know they’re about to die, so they can run around doing pointless things that don’t increase their chances of survival.
Shagadelic, Jamie!
Why do they always trip? You would think… If a homicidal maniac was chasing you, you would be extra aware of your surroundings?
If I was being chased by a Homocidal Maniac and a Fairy Godmother dropped out of the sky and offered me one free wish, then I would quickly wish for a Doom style BFG (Big Fucking Gun) and proceed the splatter the fucker all over Kingdom come.
Otherwise, if I was not being chased by a Homicidal Maniac, I’d wish that I had a blog as cool as yours.
LOL
I’d wish to be chased by an oversexed Hayden Panettiere.
Then I’d trip over and not be able to run somehow
Richard… Go for the gun my friend… Everyone knows that a BFG (Big Fucking Gun) in the hand is worth two BSB’s (Big Stupid Blogs) in the bush! Especially BSB’s that that no one ever reads…
Ayamikhan… Get out of my head! You just described my dream from last night!
Wait… It’s you isn’t it? You are one of the voices in my head… That’s how you know. How did you get… On the interwebs?
Yes, I’m one of the voices. Richard is the other.
We’re real, the rest is imaginary.
Nothing else exits, blogs, internet, computers were all hallucinations. It’s just us, Hayden, Paris, Jamie and Demi.
See! I knew it! I tried to tell my therapist…
But she just goes on and on about classic schizophrenic behavior and something about auditory hallucinations…
Anyway…
I knew I was right!
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That’s hot.
Oh crap, now I have to send a check into Paris Hilton for royalties. She is smarter than me!
Starcasm… Expect an invoice in the mail!
What. The. Fuck. First a story in the news about a man caught with his genitals in a pasta jar, and now an article praising Paris Hilton. Ahhhhh!
You’ve changed man, you’ve changed.
Dwayne.
http://probablysucks.com
Ps. Starcasm,
EVERYONE is smarter than you.
Changed? Please… No one has been more loyal to Paris than I.