Lately I’ve been feeling really jealous of the fact that everyone else seems to have a life… So much so that I’m actually contemplating putting myself out there once again…

That’s right…I am talking about dating.

So I figured I should brush up on my list of interests and hobbies, because let’s be honest… I need all the help I can get.

The thing is I don’t really have any hobbies or interests… Well none, outside of hating most everyone and everything. So I’ve compiled a list of 11 things which I can try to pass off as hobbies or interests… And yes, as usual it’s a list of eleven. Any idiot with a hobby can give you a list of ten… However it takes a real genius to bring you a list of eleven…

11. Staring at the sun.

10. Removing the tags from mattresses at Mattress Giant.

9. Re-arranging my sock drawer… Again.

8. Building dio-ramas out of shoe boxes.

7. Collecting potato chips that resemble Spencer Pratt.

6. Staring at the sun… Some more.

5. Reading cereal boxes.

4. Standing really… Really still.

3. Breathing.

2. Crying silently to myself.

1. Oh… And I like music.

Needless to say I don’t think a douchebag like me is ready to date yet. I don’t have any good skills, girls only like guys with great skills.

Well… That and the fact that I’m dead inside.

I’m just sayin’…