Let’s be honest there are a lot of crappy blogs out there…

With over 12 million American adults currently maintaining a blog and over 120 thousand new blogs being created every day! That’s a whole lot of viral videos and LOL cats.

Seriously… I’ve surfed from one side of the internet to the other, and I’ve seen a lot of strange stuff. But I’ve never seen anything to make me believe that there’s any blog better than mine. There’s no mystical blogging field that controls MY destiny.

So I’ve compiled a list of eleven reasons why my blog can kick your blogs’ ass… And yes… It is a list of eleven. Any dumbass with a blog can give you a list of ten… It takes a real genius to bring you eleven… And now without further delay…

11. Seriously… Have you read your blog???

I honestly can’t believe I have to go into details for you… It should be patently obvious after only a brief perusal of your obviously sub-par blog that my blog is superior… However if you need specifics… Please read on.

10. Your blog doesn’t link mine…

photo credit: Bitterjug

Let’s be honest… If your blog doesn’t link my blog it is obviously inferior.

9. Your blog actually sucks…

Did you ever stop to think of that! Look at it this way… If you’ve been blogging for more than two or three years now and you still have only two readers… Chances are your blog sucks… Sorry.

8. At least I can spell…

photo credit: squarepants2004j/auntyhuia

Honestly… If you can’t spell… You probably shouldn’t blog. In case you didn’t know there is a difference between loose and lose… Between there,their and they’re, and between to, two and too… Dumbass! If you want to blog, learn to spell… If you simply can’t spell, do us all a favor… Don’t blog, you are just announcing your stupidity to the world!

7. Your design sucks…

Dude… Seriously… Flashing text and animated GIFs. Ummm… Yeah that was cool, well… Never!

6. You haven’t posted since January…

photo credit: Unhindered by Talent

I’m tired of seeing your “New Year” best wishes… If you’re capable of cognitive thought… Try posting one of them.

5. Yes… Yes… I’ve seen that meme before…

Your blog consists of countless memes which quite frankly were barely amusing the first time I saw them… Enough with the memes, again if you are capable of cognitive thought… Try posting one of those.

4. Your kid is ugly…

photo credit: AntToeKnee

Wow… You can pro-create! Good for you… The thing is your kid is ugly. No one… And I mean no one wants to see picture, after picture… After picture of your kid.

3. Your blog takes forever to load…

Let’s be honest… I have time to make a sandwich, run a few errands, and clean up around the house before your blog has fully loaded in my browser… Your blog sucks!

2. You’re boring…

photo credit: Tom Coates
You don’t do… Anything. By default your blog sucks because you suck… Your boring blog is merely an extension of boring life.

1. Your blog is not mine…

My blog is obviously the greatest blog ever conceived… Therefore by default my blog simply kicks your blogs’ ass… Sorry.

And what??? And what bitch??? You got somethin’ to say? Bring it… That’s what I thought… Keep surfin’ punk...

I’m just sayin’…