This is a personal note to the assistant manager at the Burger King who waited on me this afternoon…

Hey buddy… Let me talk to ya’ for a sec… Don’t take this the wrong way… Becuase I feel bad for ya’, I really do.

I mean it must take quite a bit of resolve to actually get out of bed every morning knowing that you’re in your 30’s and your greatest achievement in life so far has been mastering the deep fryer… If it was me I’d be contemplating a dirt nap… But hey that’s just me, and besides it’s not what we’re here to talk about… We’re here to talk about your jewelry.

Look man… I know you probably feel a lil’ inadequate… What with your being such a loser and all… But a bracelet, pinky ring combo… Dude it’s not the way to compensate…

I bet you were wearing a rope chain with an italian horn too were’nt you? C’mon… Weren’t you???

That’s what I thought.

Look… I’m just trying to help you out here ok, straight men, well… We don’t wear jewelry. The only jewelry you are allowed to wear is a wedding ring and a watch. Well that is unless you are Mr. T or in the mafia.

You didn’t look like Mr. T… And I’m pretty sure if you were in the mafia you wouldn,t be the Assistant Manager at a Burger King… So lemmee’ break down the rules for ya’ ok???