I took three things away from the 2008 MTV Video Music Awards…

First… Britney Spears who opened the show to a standing ovation finally broke her moonman losing streak.

Brit came away with three moonmen for “Video of the Year”, “Best Female Video” and “Best Pop Video” for “Piece Of Me” and even though I selfishly wanted her to have another meltdown so I would have something to blog about, I couldn’t help being happy for her… In spite of myself.

Good for you Britney! You go girl!

Second… Host Russell Brand was quite possibly the most pompous, tacky, condescending douchebag to ever host the VMA’s, and I should know… I happen to be a pompous tacky, condescending douchebag, and even I didn’t think he was funny.

Finally… Paris Hilton will be returning to reality television soon with a new show!

That’s right folks… Much like the herpes rash she is rumored to carry… Paris just keeps popping back up!

Apparently her new show will focus on her search for a new best friend. I hope she keeps her options open though… I mean instead of enlisting an army of Fenphedra downing, cocaine snorting, amateur porn starring skanks for the role… Why not try something new?

A certain middle aged, slightly balding, self absorbed blogger comes to mind. After all…who’s been more loyal to Paris than I???

Besides, at this point I’m probably the only person left on the face of the planet willing to call Paris a friend… I still love you Paris! Ummmm… If you’ll just make the check out to…

I’m just sayin’…