I know what you’re thinking… Another gratuitous celebrity boob post?

This is just a blatant attempt to drive traffic to you’re blog by getting your readers to ogle celebrity fun bags isn’t it?

Ok… So ya’ got me, but honestly… Do ya’ really mind?

As a society we’re obsessed with celebrity boobs. Nude scenes, nip slips and stories of augmentation are guaranteed front page fodder for every taploid and gossip rag from New York to LA, and this blog is certainly no exception!

We’re all taken by titties… In fact some are so jealous of those with jugs they’ll actually cheat mother nature to get them! Not on this list… This list contains only real racks because natural knockers are always better. Below you’ll see 11 reasons why. After all any surgically enhanced blogger can bring you a list of ten, it takes a blogger with some natural talent to bring you eleven.

So now without further delay… The Top 11 Sets of Celebrity Sweater Puppets!:

11. Anne Hathaway

Let’s face it she hasn’t been having the best time as of late, what with the arrest and subsequent conviction of her douchebag boyfriend Raffaello Follieri for fleecing investors out of millions of dollars… So I thought I would throw her a bone and include her in this list at number eleven… As an aside, Anne, if you’re terribly lonely and would like me to throw you a bone of another sort… You know where to find me.

10. Halle Berry

Halle Berry’s sex appeal is undeniable. Playboy named her among the 100 Sexiest Women of the Century in 1998, and she’s been on People magazine’s 50 Most Beautiful People in the World list endless times. She’s made number ten on my list as I’m sure she’s a ten on most men’s lists…

9. Catherine Bell

Catherine Bell played Lt. Colonel Sarah “Mac” Mackenzie on CBS’s military-court drama JAG, as well as appearing in the Lifetime Television hit series Army Wives. Although Catherine has a squeaky clean image now, don’t be fooled. Catherine was a bad girl, who liked to date bad boys before her current husband… I’ll bet you wish you knew number nine when… I know I do…

8. Katherine Heigl

Now here is a woman I’d love to play doctor with! She can be seen as Dr. Isobel “Izzie” Stevens in the Golden Globe-winning series Grey’s Anatomy, and she was the female lead in the 2007 comedy hit Knocked Up… The jokes for that one are just too easy so I’ll let you insert your own about number eight here…

7. Eva Mendes

Eva Mendes has always embraced her femininity. “It’s fun to be a woman,” she says. “It’s fun to flirt and wear makeup and have boobs.” Now I ask you… What man doesn’t love that attitude? Which is why Eva has made lucky number seven on my list. Oh… and Eva, if you’re looking for something fun to do… How about me?

6. Catherine Zeta-Jones

This voluptuous Welsh beauty is one of the sexiest women in Hollywood. Her sultry, dark looks, sexy accent, incredible figure, and intelligence combine to make a phenomenal specimen of seductiveness. Although she made six on this list she is number one in my heart, and if I had to choose my ideal Cathy would be the one… Truth be told I… I think I love her…

5. Scarlett Johansson

Very few women in Hollywood have the allure and sexiness of Scarlett Johansson, and her rack is epic! In fact Scarlett’s boobs are so epic they can turn gay men straight as evidenced at the 2006 Golden Globes when Isaac Mizrahi forgot he was gay and just had to cop a feel, earning her the number five spot on my list…

4. Monica Bellucci

Best known as Persephone in The Matrix Reloaded and The Matrix Revolutions, Monica Bellucci is practically in her mid-40s, but there’s little doubt that she remains one of the sexiest and alluring actresses working today. Her raw sensuality is unparalleled, and it’s certainly not difficult to see why most men’s reaction upon seeing her cleavage, is a pretty good Keanu Reeves imitation… “Whoah!” Which is why she slides easily into the number four slot.

3. Jessica Simpson

Granted she may not be the brightest crayon in the box, and you may be forced to eat chicken tuna every once in a while, but honestly… Wouldn’t it be worth it to motorboat those mammoth mammaries? Of course it would… Which is why she is number three with a bullet!

2. Salma Hayek

These last two could’ve gone either way, and although Salma is taking the number two spot she could easily have been number one. From her dark hair and mysterious eyes, to her amazing lips and curvaceous figure, Salma Hayek and her mouth watering maracas have invaded my fantasies more than once…

1. Jennifer Love Hewitt

I’ll admit it… The main reason Jennifer Love Hewitt slid into the number one spot is the fact that we’ve never actually seen them. I mean… She teases, and teases but we never actually see them! It’s so fucking frustrating! They look so voluptuous, so firm, so enticing…

I have to see them!

I must see them!

I demand to see them!

What the hell Playboy! Everyone has a price! Get on that shit! God Damn it… It is my right as an American to see Jennifer Love Hewitts tits!

I’m just sayin’…

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