Do you ever feel like you’ve seen so much porn that you’ve actually become numb to the entire concept?

Seriously… Do you ever feel like you’ve seen every possible combination of lewd and lascivious act of sexual deviancy ever conceived, filmed and uploaded to the internet?

Do you ever secretly hope that through the process of evolution human beings will develop a new orifice to expose and exploit so…

Let’s be honest… The world as we know it has been steadily sliding towards oblivion for quite a while now…

I mean we’re all pretty much fucked… Right?

We’re just sitting around… Biding our time until the zombie apocalypse unleashes an unspeakable wave of terror that will wash across this nation like a bloody tsunami. Well this is your wake up call America…

I took three things away from the 2008 MTV Video Music Awards…

First… Britney Spears who opened the show to a standing ovation finally broke her moonman losing streak.
Brit came away with three moonmen for “Video of the Year”, “Best Female Video” and “Best Pop Video” for “Piece Of Me” and even though I selfishly wanted her to have another meltdown so I would have something to blog about, I couldn’t help being happy for her… In spite of myself.
Good for you Britney! You go girl!

Second… Host Russell Brand …

photo credit: M@rcopako
Dear media,
Michael Phelps is a great swimmer, a fantastic athlete and quite possibly the greatest Olympian ever known… We get it.
But to be honest… It’s enough already kay? Thanks…
Signed,
The Entire Population of the Planet!

The seat back in front of me on the train the other day was covered in gang graffiti. Cryptic symbols and letters, some of which were backwards, some upside down…

photo credit: srboisvert
It looked more like some ancient variation of cuneiform which was forgotten long ago, than English. But then again, it’s supposed to look like that to me… I’m old. It wasn’t written for me. I’m not the target demographic.
Which got me to thinking. Graffiti isn’t vandalism… It’s marketing.
Essentially the gangs are attempting to achieve brand recognition in …

This is a personal note to the assistant manager at the Burger King who waited on me this afternoon…
Hey buddy… Let me talk to ya’ for a sec… Don’t take this the wrong way… Becuase I feel bad for ya’, I really do.
I mean it must take quite a bit of resolve to actually get out of bed every morning knowing that you’re in your 30’s and your greatest achievement in life so far has been mastering the deep fryer… If it was me I’d be contemplating a dirt …

I keep hearing what an awful mistake John McCain made by choosing Sarah Palin as his running mate.
To be honest… I think it was brilliant!
I mean I actually watched the coverage of the Republican National Convention last night… And it wasn’t to catch a glimpse of the wrinkly white haired dude either.
I wanted to see the VPilf

I wanted to see her entrance…
I wanted to see her speak…
I wanted to see her walk out on stage flaunting her trademark look.
You know the one I’m talking …

photo credit: Afroswede
At this point in our evolution, weren’t we supposed to be habitating the moon, owning a flying car and residing in a house that cleans itself? Isn’t that what we were promised? Isn’t that what the new Millenium was supposed to bring? Not global warming, the shadow of terrorism and nuclear proliferation…
I was feeling seriously cheated until yesterday… Yesterday while picking up cat litter (God is my life depressing… I have become the crazy cat guy.) at the grocery store I saw it. I saw the future… …

Unfortunately our toll free number at work is very… Very close to that of the Department of Children and Family Services for some undisclosed state, that I can only imagine, based on the accents of the people calling, is located somewhere south of the Mason-Dixon line, where Nascar isn’t just a sports franchise… It’s a religion. And Bubba is not just your uncle… He’s your cousin too.

photo credit: The G-tastic 7
As you can imagine this can tend to create some annoying, albeit occasionally amusing exchanges between our employees …

Let’s be honest there are a lot of crappy blogs out there…
With over 12 million American adults currently maintaining a blog and over 120 thousand new blogs being created every day! That’s a whole lot of viral videos and LOL cats.
Seriously… I’ve surfed from one side of the internet to the other, and I’ve seen a lot of strange stuff. But I’ve never seen anything to make me believe that there’s any blog better than mine. There’s no mystical blogging field that controls MY destiny.
So I’ve compiled a …