Here’s the thing… If you beg for cash and prizes from your fans… You might be a douchebag!

You’d think that would go without saying right? Well you’d be wrong…

Because apparently no one told American Idol 7 finalist Jason Castro and his family this because they have been asking for money from his fans, and as absurd as this may sound…

It’s actually working!!!

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt as Ken and Barbie?
You may think I’m joking… Sadly I’m not.
What the hell is Mattel thinking? I mean are Heidi and Spencer really the type of people you want as role models for your kids? Really?!? The Boris and Natasha of The Hills?
A no talent bleach blonde bimbo who has parlayed her good looks and fake tits into a lucrative acting, singing and reality television career, and a slimy self promoting douchebag who has managed to turn his utterly abrasive personality and lack of …

I took three things away from the 2008 MTV Video Music Awards…

First… Britney Spears who opened the show to a standing ovation finally broke her moonman losing streak.
Brit came away with three moonmen for “Video of the Year”, “Best Female Video” and “Best Pop Video” for “Piece Of Me” and even though I selfishly wanted her to have another meltdown so I would have something to blog about, I couldn’t help being happy for her… In spite of myself.
Good for you Britney! You go girl!

Second… Host Russell Brand …

That’s right bitches! Season four of The Hills premieres tonight, and I’m not going to bore you with the easy questions like…
Heidi Montag or Lauren Conrad? Obviously the only correct answer to that question is Lauren… Ummmm… Duh!
Or even Spencer Pratt or Brody Jenner?
Although this one isn’t quite as easy… Because clearly they are both douchebags. I think I’m gonna’ have to go with Brody on this one, simply because he is such a peeeimp!
Anyone who has a contact named ‘Britney Canada Whore’ in their phone is …

The only thing on television more addictive than “Made” has got to be “Intervention” (No pun intended)… Absolutely nothing makes you feel better about your own sad pathetic existence than to watch crack addicts and meth heads steal from their family members and prostitute themselves for a rock… Seriously! Nothing!
I don’t care how bad your circumstances seem… I don’t care how deep of a depression you have sunken into… I don’t care how fucked up your life actually is…
I guarantee you, if you watch one episode of “Intervention” you’ll walk …

Season four of The Hills is set to premiere soon… August 18th to be exact, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t just a little bit excited, and I’m not the only one.
It seems the entire cast is on an all out media blitz. After two and a half months in hiding the cast is now in full on pimp mode… It would seem that Spencer has taught them well.
Even sweet, innocent Audrina Patridge isn’t above some shameless self promotion…
Well, Ok… So maybe she’s not that …

Even if you’re not a fan of The Hills you are probably aware of who Spencer Pratt is. In two short years he has managed to go from relative obscurity to a household name… Albeit the most hated household name in America, nevertheless a household name.

The most intriguing aspect of his rise to fame, is that he has accomplished it without the faintest hint of any discernible talent. He is famous for being a douchebag… Period…

I have to admit I’m completely addicted to MTV’s “Made”… There is something so satisfying about watching doughy, pasty faced teenagers learn valuable life lessons from coaches who have… At best achieved mediocre success in whatever field they want to be “Made” into… Whining incessantly the whole time about how hard it is.
The formula goes a little something like this… Fat, loser, outcast wants to be made into something cool, whether it be Prom Queen or King, Cheerleader or Athlete Musician, Dancer or Actor it doesn’t really matter… And quite …

Sometimes when I’m having a bad day at work I wish I had Tourette’s Syndrome so I could scream…
Fuck!!! Shit!!! Motherfucker!!! And then act like nothing happened.
If anyone asked why I was screaming profanities at the top of my lungs I would become indignant, with the most wounded look I could muster I would respond… It’s my Tourette’s… Thanks for making me feel worse about it asshole!
I wonder if that’s what Denise Richards is doing? I mean… I know It’s Complicated But that bitch has a mouth …

So… Do you think Stephanie really wants to be Lauren’s friend, or do you think she is an evil minion of Heidi and Spencer?
I reserve the right to retract this statement at a later date, furthermore… I’m sure I’ll regret it later but I really want to believe she is being a nice person and not merely a pawn doing the nefarious bidding of Speidi. I mean… I don’t know. She is a Pratt, and still… I feel bad for her being caught in the middle.
While we’re on the subject …